6 characteristics of a toxic mother 2

6 characteristics of a toxic mother

6 characteristics of a toxic mother

Relationships with parents are not always easy because there are parents, whose behavior with children can be defined as toxic because it harms the development, growth and passage to adult life of the child, in addition to being able to negatively influence emotions, relationships with friends and sentimental life.

On this occasion, info-grinik we are going to focus on toxic mothers so you know how to recognize them and detect if you maintain this type of relationship with your parent. And how can you know? Here we tell you 6 characteristics of a toxic mother so that you recognize her regardless of whether she is controlling, inaccessible, disdainful, envious or narcissistic, among other types that exist.

Insecurity, a characteristic of toxic people

One of the main characteristics of a toxic mother is insecurity, which is what causes her to see children as a lifeline or survival board towards everything that makes her feel insecure or causes her some fear such as loneliness.

In this way, to feel better and safe always try to control and keep your children by your side so that they do not leave your side. A control that tends to be exercised from childhood, but that is accentuated as you grow and you begin to have friends to go out or romantic relationships begin.

To avoid it and not have the anxiety that these situations generate, he usually resorts to all kinds of tricks and tricks, he can even project his fears, fears and insecurities on the children so that they do not do what they want and always stay by his side.

Excessive control

Another way to recognize a toxic mother is because of the excessive control she exercises over her children. This, in practice, means that since childhood you have no decision-making capacity about what you do or want to do, always being the mother who decides.

This type of behavior, obviously, is harmful because it prevents you from learning from an early age to be autonomous and to know that mistakes can be made with the decisions that are made and that any decision has consequences.

Too much protection

Another characteristic of a toxic mother is the distrust she feels of friends or anyone in the children’s environment. Normally, what they try to do is overprotect them for what they prevent them from having friendships or relationships with people that the mother does not like because she believes they can harm her child, interfere with the plans she has for them or simply fears that they may separate them.

This is also counterproductive in children because it can cause them problems relating to others and even isolating them from their circle and not having friends. Likewise, there can be a contrary effect: friendships are kept secret, which end in an isolation from the family or in a concealment of the life that is really led.

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Indifference, another characteristic of toxic mothers

Although there are toxic mothers who are very noticeable of the control they exercise or try to exercise over their children, there are also mothers who have the characteristic of the indifference with which they remain equally toxic. But don’t fool yourself because it’s not. And it is that, normally, they camouflage under indifference or the mask of permissiveness or tolerance not wanting to manage or face conflict situations or that can generate a clash between mother and children. That is, it acts as if nothing ever happens. However, sometimes, in reality, the mother really feels indifference.

This is also negative in children because it is common for them to become people who do not know how to defend themselves in adult life and who have a high degree of frustration because they are accustomed to having what they want and at the moment they want it.

Passivity and aggressiveness

The toxic mother is recognizable by the change in her moods, which oscillate between passivity or aggressiveness. This occurs because he seeks the strategy or makes changes in it to get what he wants from his children and influence them.

Another extreme can also occur: the mother remains passive and maintains her way of educating because she does not understand that it is rejected nor does she take into account previous experience and conflict situations that may have occurred.

Ideal children

A toxic mother will also try to make her children that ideal person that she has not become. And this can affect any facet of life, whether academically or professionally or personally. This process can begin from an early age to target activities such as playing soccer or singing or ballet classes. Of course, the tastes and preferences of the children are not taken into account. In addition, the process continues with the decision of the studies that you must carry out, the profession that you will practice and, even, it interferes with the choice of the couple or prevents it from having.

All this can become very suffocating for the children because in addition the mother will try to make that “perfect person” in the shortest possible time. A reason why they demand a lot from children, even going so far as to stop talking to them or reproach them for doing everything wrong if they do not achieve the goals set by the mother. Normally, this attitude is justified as an unconditional love and a help to the children to achieve everything that she did not have or did not achieve or so that the same mistakes of the mother are not made in the past.

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